The ‘desperate mom’ who contacted me two days ago did call back. I was able to pass along the telephone number of a wonderful social worker.

But the key piece of the conversation with her was my describing my feelings, how I had experienced intense internal resistance to making positive changes in how I related to my sons. Even more important, I think, was my telling her about how peer support helped me let go of very familiar and very dear (in the sense of hard won and the sense of much loved) negativity and resistance …and eventually forge new patterns of relating to myself and others.

All of us, to some degree or another, experience confusion about how to be and what to do. We all have episodes of confusion in – and, some of us have long-term disordered relationships with – our own best selves, our relationships with family and friends, with work, with money, with time, the list goes on.

Those around us, in our small societies and in the larger society, contribute to the confusion and disorder. It is a huge job of work to sort things out, individually and collectively.  I am tired just writing about this.